Otrzymane w mejlu, dla poprawy humoru:

Due to current economic conditions the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned  off.  

TEACHER:  Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?

SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '

MILLIE: I is..

TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'

MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.' 

TEACHER:  Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?

DONALD: H I J K L M N O.

TEACHER: What are you talking about?

DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.

TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's.. Did you copy his?

CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?' GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'

TEACHER: No, that's wrong

GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it. 

TEACHER: John,  why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?

JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables. 

Ogloszenia (ponoc prawdziwe):

FOR SALE BY OWNER. Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica, 45 volumes.

Excellent condition, £200 or best offer.

No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything. 

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE.

Worn once by mistake.

Call Stephanie. 

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.

8 years old, Hateful little bastard. Bites! 

JOINING NUDIST COLONY!

Must sell washer and dryer £100.